ILL PREPARED, FRUSTRATED BY MY LIMITS

Aargh. Demoralized by things I can and cannot control.....I suppose sometimes facing that squarely IS the training. 

Have asked at least once a week for a month for a copy of the disc for studying weapons at home and still have not received it. So I came into weapons class feeling ill-prepared, not having done enough homework. Then towards the end of class, tired and frustrated, I let myself be drawn into a side conversation when I know better etiquette than to do that - should have just quietly suggested we resume training. 

But the number one frustration is, as always, my own limitations as a learner of movement based arts. I have never been able to learn more than one kata at a time because if I am presented with too many new pieces I only recall the most recently performed one. It's the same as getting directions from point A to point B: when a person tells me to make a left, go two blocks, bear right then at the toplight make another right, each new instruction will have replaced the previous one; I need either written directions or a map. Perhaps I need to simply going with the flow of the information and absorb what I can each time? I honestly don't know. 

What I do know is that if and when I ever do get the videos, it will be just the start of my at-home practice:since  I can't learn by watching or by hearing directions. I will make written notes based on watching snippets of the video, then parse out the movements a couple at a time, step by step, from that written language-based study sheet. Believe it or not, every weapons kata I ever learned from anybody's system was done that way. 

I don't mind doing the work....because I really hate showing up unprepared. 
And, yeah, because even though it's hard to learn, I really really love DOING weapons training.

ADDENDUM, THURSDAY MORNING: In order to take responsibility for my own homework, I've done some exploring and found on youtube very good videos of Saito Sensei both slowly doing AND explaining the kumi tachi - slowly enough for me to write notes and start practicing both sides.